The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
