So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
