But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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