I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
