its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
