DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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