Your face is a jimmy john
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
