My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
