I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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