the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My ass is underappreciated
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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