check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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