Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
