i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
