Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
