I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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