Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
