I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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