Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
