So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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