Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
