I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize