Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
