Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
