My brain says no but my pants say off.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
my poor anus
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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