So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
