Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
