I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
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