Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
