I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
