Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
