Yo dont text me then not text me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
