I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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