So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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