Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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