the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
