Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
