the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
