New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize