If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
