If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
