i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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