have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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