he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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