dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
