i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
