I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
