okay pat passed out under dana's car
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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