theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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