she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
