What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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