We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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