I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This baby is an asshole
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
