ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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