his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
