You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
