You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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