i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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