6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
