We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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