he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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