Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
