I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
