I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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